The Intimacy Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings enormous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), Discover More Here and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to extremely difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , resulting in powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, love, well-being, and nearness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting my response tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in urban locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

However, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, goals, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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