The Intimacy Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are brought in to incredibly hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful sensations of destination, excitement, love, well-being, and nearness .

But when issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in cities, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually read here compatible, many gay men want to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North see it here adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete you can try these out focus on your vision, goals, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Intimacy Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Head”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar