The Intimacy Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex carries tremendous significance and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are attracted to extremely tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, nearness, and wellness .

But when issues arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that a lot of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sex. Lots of gay guys wish to learn from the starting if a potential partner is going content to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North adds, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow with her response time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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