The Sensuality Catch, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries immense significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , resulting in powerful sensations of destination, excitement, well-being, nearness, and love .

When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cosmopolitan locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it like this is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not he has a good point there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, values, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sensuality Catch, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar