The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, making love carries enormous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good also).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, well-being, love, and nearness .

But when issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the browse this site rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that a number of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in cities, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sex. Many linked here gay guys wish to discover from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling view website all those interesting stimulates!

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